I'm afraid I have to admit it. I am in denial no longer. My job is insane and I am slowly losing the plot (I already hear all the 'what do you mean slowly' gags so don't bother!).
Over the last few weeks, I have gone from researching a Written question to the Commission on the use of Filament lightbulbs in heavy machinery to the abuse of human rights of several hundred thousand Croation-Serb refugees to finding out if our long-line fishing fleets hurt sea birds and now da-da-da-darrr - writting a short briefing on the situation in Israel/Palestine for the boss before a meeting with a Peace group...
WHAT THE HELL!?!?!??!
How do I write a SHORT bloody briefing on bloody ISRAEL/PALESTINE!!!! Especially when I still have all the REALLY interesting knowledge about the use of filament lightbulbs in the health and safety apparatus involved with that handy LATHE we all have in the shed!!!
My grasp on reality and normality was tenuous at best when I came over here but now, living in a schizophrenic country, doing work like this and (as anybody who works for The Party will tell you) having my blood slowly replaced pint by pint by a heady mix of ACP-friendly caffine and medicinal alcohol I fear the end is nigh...
Either I achieve something that has been beyond every Academic, Journalist, Politician and Conspiracy-theorist alive or I accept one of those lovely coats with the straps on the sleeves.
Either a short Shalom on the West Bank or a Long Goodbye in the Asylum...
Hmm how do you say 'I'm screwed' in Hebrew...
Tuesday, 29 May 2007
Wednesday, 23 May 2007
Vote Labour because we're nice!
This will certainly find any tories reading this blog but as its abit slow at the mo and this has been rolling around in my head for - well - ever why not!
This issue came into sharper focus for me a couple of weeks ago. Some student on an Erasmus year studying in Europe had begged a couple of weeks work experience in our office and so I had to give him the obligatory tour of the Parliament, 'you will get lost here... here you'll definitely get lost... if you ever end up here you're lost' that type of thing. The tour was almost over as we got back to the 13th floor where the office is and I was running out of things to say to this person. Anyway I noticed the pictures on the wall and hit on a weak anecdote.
To contradict the above I have only got lost in the Parliament once. The MEP offices are housed in two separate blocks of the Parliament on opposite sides of the building, one block for the right (ie Tories etc) one for the left. Anyway I once came out of a meeting on the 'dark side' of the building and without thinking went to the nearest lifts and up to the 13th floor forgetting which side I was on. The reason I realised my mistake was because the walls of the 13th floor weren't covered in photos. The place was grey, miserable and mean looking. I'm sure our 13th floor would be the same was it not for all the photos: of MEPs, Assistants, meetings, parties, everything. It makes it really cheerful, bright, a place that is welcoming instead of sucking the life out of you. Anyway I was relaying this to the wide-eyed student next to me and I carried on ramming home my point without really thinking.
'Its little things like this that prove you made the right decision joining us and not them' I said.
At which point a man going through a Strasbourg case (every office has one for the monthly exodus) in the corridor laughed, I looked at him and realised it was Stephen Hughes, MEP for the North East. Smiling he said:
'Yeah Vote Labour because we're nice people!'
And we all laughed.
But then I got thinking abit (I guess it was a slow day) and I thought actually that is by far the best political message ever! Vote for us because we are NICE!
And its bloody true! I've met plenty of people in the Labour Party, many have annoyed me, angered me, pissed me off but I know for a fact that in their own special way they will go out of their way to help others, to make things better for those around them: they are nice. And you can extrapolate this idea out further. For the same reason we put photos on our walls, to cheer others up, make things abit better, Socialist MEPs treat their Interns better, they campaign for equality and an ending of poverty, they voted last month to denounce Homophobeia in Poland and demand the Commission look at the situation, not because it affects them but because they want to help.
And in the same way we can go beyond the lack of photos on the walls in the tory corridor. They didn't do that because it would take effort on their part and hey my office is alright so who cares? Screw the rest of them. The right protects their class interests, they pull the ladder up behind them, they are alright so screw everybody else. That's why one Tory MEP only ever hires blonde big-bosomed Interns and harrasses them, thats why they side with their mates in big business, thats why it was Tories who brought in Section 28 and who even today abstained on the Homophobeia vote in the Parliament last month. It's no wonder their most successful PM declared 'there's no such thing as society' because they don't think or care about it, its all about me, I, myself and fuck the rest of you.
So there you have it, Mr Brown if your reading here is your Election message for 2009, 'Vote Labour because we're nice'
This issue came into sharper focus for me a couple of weeks ago. Some student on an Erasmus year studying in Europe had begged a couple of weeks work experience in our office and so I had to give him the obligatory tour of the Parliament, 'you will get lost here... here you'll definitely get lost... if you ever end up here you're lost' that type of thing. The tour was almost over as we got back to the 13th floor where the office is and I was running out of things to say to this person. Anyway I noticed the pictures on the wall and hit on a weak anecdote.
To contradict the above I have only got lost in the Parliament once. The MEP offices are housed in two separate blocks of the Parliament on opposite sides of the building, one block for the right (ie Tories etc) one for the left. Anyway I once came out of a meeting on the 'dark side' of the building and without thinking went to the nearest lifts and up to the 13th floor forgetting which side I was on. The reason I realised my mistake was because the walls of the 13th floor weren't covered in photos. The place was grey, miserable and mean looking. I'm sure our 13th floor would be the same was it not for all the photos: of MEPs, Assistants, meetings, parties, everything. It makes it really cheerful, bright, a place that is welcoming instead of sucking the life out of you. Anyway I was relaying this to the wide-eyed student next to me and I carried on ramming home my point without really thinking.
'Its little things like this that prove you made the right decision joining us and not them' I said.
At which point a man going through a Strasbourg case (every office has one for the monthly exodus) in the corridor laughed, I looked at him and realised it was Stephen Hughes, MEP for the North East. Smiling he said:
'Yeah Vote Labour because we're nice people!'
And we all laughed.
But then I got thinking abit (I guess it was a slow day) and I thought actually that is by far the best political message ever! Vote for us because we are NICE!
And its bloody true! I've met plenty of people in the Labour Party, many have annoyed me, angered me, pissed me off but I know for a fact that in their own special way they will go out of their way to help others, to make things better for those around them: they are nice. And you can extrapolate this idea out further. For the same reason we put photos on our walls, to cheer others up, make things abit better, Socialist MEPs treat their Interns better, they campaign for equality and an ending of poverty, they voted last month to denounce Homophobeia in Poland and demand the Commission look at the situation, not because it affects them but because they want to help.
And in the same way we can go beyond the lack of photos on the walls in the tory corridor. They didn't do that because it would take effort on their part and hey my office is alright so who cares? Screw the rest of them. The right protects their class interests, they pull the ladder up behind them, they are alright so screw everybody else. That's why one Tory MEP only ever hires blonde big-bosomed Interns and harrasses them, thats why they side with their mates in big business, thats why it was Tories who brought in Section 28 and who even today abstained on the Homophobeia vote in the Parliament last month. It's no wonder their most successful PM declared 'there's no such thing as society' because they don't think or care about it, its all about me, I, myself and fuck the rest of you.
So there you have it, Mr Brown if your reading here is your Election message for 2009, 'Vote Labour because we're nice'
Wednesday, 9 May 2007
Some photos...
To stop complaints I've dug out some photos, enjoy...
Random shots from various points...
Some from my random birthday bash in the office...
Some from my random birthday bash in the office...
And some of the Parliament!
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